As Baby A is reaching her One year mark shortly in this beautiful world I was able to come up with something in regards to the thankless tasks of parenting. The world of Internet today has thousands of resources like Gentle Parenting and thousands of groups around to help during the crisis which would be a normal issue. When as a family we are entering the 1 year milestone we happened to move to a nuclear family from a joint setup. In my marriage life of approximately 1 year 10 months this is little peaky for me as I was lucky enough to be in a joint setup right from the beginning. Both my mom and mother- in-law were near to guide me in all my doings throughout. Now everything is still the same but at a distance. Last night Baby A had a rash kind of thing which made me panic to the core but it wasn’t a rash luckily [Al hamdulilah]. The moment I saw that my hands went out to reach the phone to call my mom! As it was late hours down there in india I just refrained myself from calling her. Parenting is too hard you see!! Later Baby A was put to sleep and this thought was going on and on back in my mind all day ! Will Baby A thank me for the stuffs I do? Will she think in the future about me even when she is grown up? Then my mind voice interrupted and exclaimed! Hold-On, Have you ever thanked your mom who never whined to keep your bum off the icky poops even those days when the trendy diapers or easy to go disposable pants were not widely available? When your mom braided your knee-length hair?(which you don’t have now). Have you ever thanked her for the designer and stylist avatars she took over, looking at your beautiful old time photos? Ever thanked your dad? When he carried you on his shoulders during the knee level flood times only because your shoes and uniform shouldn’t get up messed up? The real baahubali who comes to rescue with no CGs and imaginary illogics? When he made your shoes shine? When he taught you how to ride a bike? When your parents made a wonderful decision to lead a life as you wished? When they gave you permission to work the way you wanted? When Baby A was about to enter the world, I was able to see my mom and dad in tears, which reflected their concern about their two new babies, the divine process of labour was going to gift them then. Outwardly “ONE” to come back safe as “TWO” was their only chants !! That’s parenthood. A “NO-THANKS” from us is not going to make their life less prosperous or miserable nor do they expect favours in return. They live a selfless life simply to take us to heights.
After so much of conflicts and confusions within me I came to a conclusion where I should put together a few basic steps to honour our parents. A gist which is feasible and combination of what I have done in the past and what I am planning to in the future is what this blog is all about!
1.SPENDING TIME WITH THEM
A Best gift a person can give to his/her parents is by spending a quality time with them. Explain them how special they are to you. Call them regularly and speak to them, discuss with them the daily happenings. In this modern era, with advanced technologies we can do this from any corner of the world. Only because of this I lead a homesick free life. Thanks to the technology.. I learnt this from my mom and dad in their own ways. My nanima (whom I used to address as “AMMA”) passed away on her early 80’s which is three years back. During her last days my mom made it a point to go meet her literally everyday after her hectic office hours and spend time with her as much as possible and made us to follow the same too. This was her way of expressing her love towards her mom. My dad cared his mother-in-law the same way as he cared his mom and that nature of his I adore a lot even now. The same was done with my dhadhima(paternal granny) too with no compromises.
2.Never ever feel shy to say those powerful words “I Love you”
Let your parents know how much they mean to you in your life. I really adore my parents for the efforts they have taken to make us reach a solid position in our life. My husband moved out of the country for the first time leaving behind his family. His journey was approximately 26 long hours and during which my father in law had sent an “I love you” message to his son. When I heard that from my husband I teased him but later realised what was wrong in it? Why should I tease the bonding they have? Have I ever said those powerful words to my parents? My answer was a big No. Took my phone and typed those three words in my mobile and quickly hit the send button to my parents. I felt very happy to identify the energy their voices had later when I called them. Those three words are really powerful that they make the ones who hear them really joyful.
In this modern era we forget the power of handwritten letters. We sit in front of a computer or a mobile type what we feel and send them but preparing a handwritten note is way too special when compared to the email note! This I understood when I saw my mom cherished when she looks at our old handwritten messages to her. She is keeping them as a treasure. So I feel it is one of the beautiful ways to honour our parents.
4.Live Out THEIR Values
Each person will have his or her own unique principle. If it is good we should try to follow them. Live out their values if they have a unique character which is good in nature. This thought provoked me looking at my nanima (amma’s) behaviour. I was privileged to be near her during the last phase of farewell from this earth. At that particular moment the words she told me still keeps on ringing my ears. Even in severe pain she asked me to thank each and every person who took care of her in the hospital starting from the sweeper to the Doctor who attended her. My mom still follows that very principle from my amma and I hope so I’ll follow the values as well, which my mom and dad follow till date. Of course a little appreciation to others is not going to let us down rather it is up someone’s day for sure. Why not we be the reason??
5.Name Something in their Memory
Parents give us life with the Almighty’s grace. They struggle hard to make us reach a position, help us in gaining knowledge. In return we should do something to the society which will leave a good impression on our parents. A simple deed like building a water tank, or constructing a sun shade or helping the poor and needy in all possible ways will do the job! When this task has been done, prayers and blessings will reach the person and that definitely becomes a vicious cycle. My mother gives scholarship to a student in the remembrance of her mother and I have made been inspired to do something similar to honour my parents.
6.Seek Advice for the Stuff you do
While thinking to do a particular task, make sure you involve your parents in the discussion. When you involve them they would be really happy to know that they are still being the same significant person who plays a special role in your life.
These are the few ways I do to honour my parents. Please do share with us (Baby A and Mom of BabyA) what are the steps you take to honour your parents?? Come let us spread the joy and make this world a better place to live in!!